fuck me now.
Recipe adapted from Michael White
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Prep Time: 40 minutes
Cook Time: 2 hours and 40 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours and 20 minutes
For the Sauce:
½ cup apricot jam
½ cup plum jam
1½ tablespoons sambal
2-inch piece ginger, peeled and grated
For the Spice Mixture:
1 star anise
1 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon Sichuan peppercorns
1 teaspoon fennel seeds
¼ teaspoon clove
For the Herb Paste:
4 cloves garlic
4 cups packed cilantro
3 Thai birds eye chiles
For the Porchetta:
1 5-pound skin-on pork belly
1 3-pound pork loin, trimmed
Salt, to taste
1. Make the sauce: In a medium mixing bowl, combine all of the sauce ingredients and stir. Set aside until ready to use.
2. Make the spice mixture: In a small saucepan over medium heat, toast the spices, while continuously swirling the pan, until they become fragrant, about 3 minutes. Transfer to a spice grinder and grind until finely ground.
3. Make the herb paste: In a food processor, grind the garlic, cilantro and chiles until smooth. Transfer the paste to a small bowl and set aside.
4. Make the pork: Lay the pork belly skin-side-down on a cutting board. Trim the pork belly so that it can wrap the around the loin with a 1-inch overlap (this is to encase the loin and protect it from drying out). Using a chefs knife, carve a ½-inch-deep crosshatch pattern inside the belly. Rub the spice mixture and herb paste all over the belly and loin and season aggressively with salt. Place the loin in the center of the belly and begin to roll belly around loin. Tie the porchetta crosswise using kitchen twine at ½-inch intervals. Allow the porchetta to sit out at room temperature for 2 hours before grilling.
5. Meanwhile, build a medium-hot fire in a charcoal grill until it registers around 325°. Fill a foil pan halfway with water. Move the charcoal to one side of the grill and place the foil pan next to the charcoal. Place the top grate on the grill and put the porchetta on the grate over the foil pan. Close the lid of the grill, and open the top and bottom grill vents. Position the lid so that the top grill vent is on the opposite side of the fire.
6. Cook the porchetta, maintaining a temperature 325° to 350° in the grill by replenishing charcoal when needed, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into the center of the roast reaches 130°. Move the porchetta directly over the coals. Using tongs, turn the porchetta frequently until the skin begins to blister and is crisp all over, for about 10 minutes. Remove the porchetta and transfer to a platter. Let the porchetta rest for 10 minutes before carving. Serve with the sambal sauce.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING LOUD SEX.
sing it, sister.
As far as noisy neighbors go, sexually noisy neighbors are really not that intrusive. The noisy part lasts only a few minutes, which is more than can be said for some colicky babies and barking dogs I have known. (To say nothing of the ongoing jackhammer renovations in the building outside my window as we speak.) But to tell the noisy-sex-havers to remove an entire genre of sex from their repertoire in the privacy of their own homes due to some third party’s minor discomfort is a significant burden. And so the onus is on the overhearing-sex-listener to deal with it. You can dull the noise by turning on a radio, putting in earplugs, or making some noise of yourown. You can simply ignore it for a couple minutes. Neighbors who throw noisy parties are generally allowed a few hours of indulgence. Shouldn’t vocal sex-havers be afforded a few minutes?
Mapo Tofu - one of my favorite dishes.
1/4 cup dried Tianjin chiles or chiles de árbol
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1 tablespoon cumin seeds
1 tablespoon Sichuan peppercorns
2 green cardamom pods
2 whole cloves
1 bay leaf
1/4 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon sugar
2 tablespoons plus 1/4 cup chili oil
1/2 cup tomato paste
4 cups low-salt chicken broth
4 cups dry white wine
2/3 cup fish sauce (such as nuoc nam or nam pla)
1/2 cup fermented black beans (from one 4-ounce can, rinsed, drained)
1/2 cup pepper oil
2 pounds boneless pork shoulder (Boston butt), cut into 1-inch cubes
BRAISE AND ASSEMBLY
1/4 cup (packed) fresh cilantro leaves with tender stems plus more chopped for garnish
3/4 cup red Thai chiles
1/2 cup chopped garlic
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup grated peeled ginger (from two 4x1-inch pieces)
1/4 cup sliced scallion (about 1)
1 8x4-inch piece kombu
2 pounds soft (silken) tofu, cut into 1-inch cubes
Scallions, sliced thinly on a diagonal
9 servings, 1 serving contains: Calories (kcal) 600 Fat (g) 34 Saturated Fat (g) 6 Cholesterol (mg) 70 Carbohydrates (g) 19 Dietary Fiber (g) 2 Total Sugars (g) 5 Protein (g) 31 Sodium (mg) 2820
View Step-by-Step Directions
Stir first 8 ingredients in a large dry skillet over medium heat until fragrant, 4–5 minutes. Let cool. Discard bay leaf; finely grind remaining toasted spices in spice mill. Transfer to a small bowl; stir in salt and sugar. DO AHEAD: Can be made 1 month ahead. Store airtight at room temperature.
Heat 2 Tbsp. chili oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add tomato paste; stir until mixture turns brick red, 5–6 minutes. Remove from heat. Add broth and next 4 ingredients; stir, scraping up any browned bits. Add pork; stir to coat. Cover and chill overnight.
BRAISE AND ASSEMBLY
Process 1/4 cup cilantro and next 5 ingredients in a food processor until finely chopped; add chile mixture and spice blend to pot with pork. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve spice mixture. Add kombu; cover. Reduce heat to medium-low; braise until pork is tender, about 1 1/2 hours.
Uncover pot. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid is thickened and reduced by half, about 1 hour longer. DO AHEAD: Can be made 2 days ahead. Let cool slightly. Chill uncovered until cold. Cover; keep chilled. Rewarm before using.
Bring a pot of heavily salted water to a boil. Add tofu and poach for 2–3 minutes (tofu will firm up a bit). Using a slotted spoon, transfer tofu to a paper towel–lined plate to drain.
Add tofu to pork. Simmer until completely warmed through, about 10 minutes. Season with pepper oil. Garnish with chopped cilantro, scallions, and chili oil.
Chinese Food, Dinner, Entrees, Mission Sichuan Recipes, Pork Recipes, Sichuan Food, Spicy Food, Tofu Recipes, trail_12062013
RECIPE BY Danny Bowien of Mission Chinese Food in San Francisco CA
PHOTOGRAPH BY Alanna Hale
Advice from the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen
Maybe you remember the old joke: “Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.” Here’s a new one I just made up: “Why do women lie about sex? Because they can.” It’s not really funny, I admit, but it does have the benefit of being true. Women are anatomically secretive. Our stuff is neatly tucked away, and the obvious signs that connote female arousal—arching, gasping, and so on—are secondary and unreliable. They might be genuine, or they might not be.
Men are all evidence. A character in Sophie Fontanel’s new memoir of celibacy, The Art of Sleeping Alone, succinctly describes the male dilemma. Carlos has ended his marriage because he no longer wants to have sex with his wife. Fontanel asks him whether he has told his wife the true reason he left. Carlos replies: “How could I have lied to her? With love, you can always get out of a bind because you can’t see it, but getting a hard-on, or not, you can’t wriggle out of that; might as well be frank about it.” When your hard-ons are invisible, there’s room for lots of wriggling.
By now, of course, it’s difficult to think of female desire as in any way hidden. The cultural speculum has been firmly inserted for a good look around. Women have long since learned all about how our tucked-away stuff works, with pioneers of second-wave feminism as our guides: Our Bodies, Ourselves was practically standard-issue along with the dorm-room furniture when I arrived at my very liberal college in 1985. Meanwhile, female lust has been thoroughly documented (or at any rate, endlessly and theatrically depicted) by the adult-film industry. How would porn get along without horny females? Science, too, has lately been busy substantiating the existence of girl lust. In his recent tour of burgeoning research into female desire, What Do Women Want?, Daniel Bergner reports a current verdict: women are at least as libidinous as men.
Read more. [Image: Noma Bar/Dutch Uncle]
Vietnamese Beef Pho
1 pound 85 percent lean ground beef
2 onions, quartered through root end
12 cups low-sodium beef broth
1/4 cup fish sauce, plus extra for seasoning
1 (4-inch) piece ginger, sliced into thin rounds
1 cinnamon stick
2 tablespoons sugar, plus extra for seasoning
6 star anise pods
6 whole cloves
1 teaspoon black peppercorns
1 (1-pound) boneless strip steak, trimmed and halved
14-16 ounces (1/8-inch-wide) rice noodles
1/3 cup chopped, fresh cilantro
3 scallions, sliced thin (optional)
Sprigs fresh Thai or Italian basil
1. Break ground beef into rough 1-inch chunks and drop in Dutch oven. Add water to cover by 1 inch. Bring mixture to boil over high heat. Boil for two minutes, stirring once or twice. Drain ground beef in colander and rinse well under running water. Wash out pot and return ground beef to pot.
2. Place 6 onion quarters in pot with ground beef. Slice remaining 2 onion quarters as thin as possible and set aside for garnish. Add broth, 2 cups water, fish sauce, ginger, cinnamon, sugar, star anise, cloves, 2 teaspoons salt, and peppercorns to pot and bring to boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, partially covered, for 45 minutes.
3. Pour broth through colander set in large bowl. Discard solids. Strain broth through fine-mesh strainer lined with triple thickness of cheesecloth; add water as needed to equal 11 cups. Return broth to pot and season with extra sugar and salt (broth should taste over-seasoned). Cover and keep warm over low heat.
4. While broth simmers, place steak on large plate and freeze until very firm, 35 to 45 minutes. Once firm, cut against grain into 1/8-inch-thick slices. Return steak to plate and refrigerate until needed.
5. Place noodles in large container and cover with hot tap water. Soak until noodles are pliable, 10 to 15 minutes; drain noodles. Meanwhile, bring 4 quarts water to boil in large pot. Add drained noodles and cook until almost tender, 30 to 60 seconds. Drain immediately and divide noodles among individual bowls.
6. Bring broth to rolling boil over high heat. Divide steak among individual bowls, shingling slices on top of noodles. Pile reserved onion slices on top of steak slices and sprinkle with cilantro and scallions, if using. Ladle hot broth into each bowl. Serve immediately, passing bean sprouts, basil sprigs, lime wedges, hoisin, Sriracha, and extra fish sauce separately.
Drawings by Ria Brodell
FOOD FACES: TRAVIS JEPPESEN
In this series, Shane Jones looks at the diet of some of our favorite writers. In this installment he talks to Travis Jeppesen, whose most recent book, The Suiciders, is about seven criminal teenagers stuck on a loop of permanent exile, a book that shows how, as Jeppesen puts it, “art is something that vibrates when you throw up on it.”
THE BELIEVER: I like how your diet starts fast and light and generally slows down at the end with the heaviest of food, a kind of layering before the Jameson and ending the day. Is this a conscious decision on your part? Or is it reflective of the Berlin diet/lifestyle?
TRAVIS JEPPESEN: I don’t think it’s a conscious decision on my part. As I get older, I think about food a bit more. My whole life, I was super skinny and I could always eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, no consequences whatsoever. Then, as I reached my late 20s/early 30s, my metabolism began to slow down, suddenly it all started to go straight to my belly—not my arms or my legs, just the belly. Since I didn’t want to look preggers anymore, it was time to start paying attention to what I stuff down my throat. I guess the diet I outlined for you conforms to the ideal rhythms of my daily metabolism, which also corresponds to my work schedule—I’m usually able to get a lot more done earlier in the day now, whereas in my early 20s, I’d stay up all night writing. Now I start to slow down as the day starts to fade, so it’s time to shovel the heavy stuff in—and usually, I’ve been to the gym by then already, so I feel it’s safe to reward myself.
BLVR: I have the same issue with my stomach. I can look simultaneously fat and skinny. Richard Brautigan, later in life, had the same problem. He had these tiny arms and wrists and then a belly like a Texas truck driver. Do you think eating better yields better writing results?
TJ: Yeah, it’s all tied to writing for me. Especially since my whole project is rooted in this tradition of a writing of the body, to the extent where body takes precedent over mind. So my body is a vehicle, food is my main fuel. I try not to put too much junk into it or else it malfunctions.
BLVR: Can you talk a little more about writing from the body? It makes sense—The Suiciders is a very physical book where the sentences and images really push you around. There’s also an insatiable feel in the drive of the images and characters, always wanting more. It’s not cerebral Javier Marias, it’s fuck you Burroughs.
TJ: For me, body takes precedence over mind, because mind is but an extension of body. So I’m a body-mind machine, a vehicle, moving across a terrain, and the exhaust or by-product that my vehicle produces along the way, that contaminates the stratosphere, that’s the “work.” And it’s always happening. This is the thing that most people don’t understand about writers. I’m “at work” 24 hours a day. Even when I’m dreaming—especially when I’m dreaming—I’m really writing. Writing is something that happens, it’s always going on, not just when I’m sitting there with a pen in my hand and a notebook in my lap.
I don’t mean to conceptualize process, because really, it’s all about inspiration—and I’m an old-fashioned romantic, so I feel no compunction about using that word. It’s more about programming yourself so that inspiration becomes a generative force—it’s built into the machinery, and hence, happening all the time.